Dumb Life Pro Tips To Help Achieve Worse Outcomes

There's nothing quite like human ingenuity. The brain that's able to write sonnets and algorithms is also the same organ that will tell you "get pregnant to fix your failing marriage." What we're trying to say is that there's a lot of variability in human thinking, and just because someone frames something as advice, that doesn't mean that it'll be effective. Hell, it doesn't even mean it will be a complete thought. So don't go sticking your fingers in scorpion holes just cause some guy at a bar told you there might be gold in there. We'd all love to believe him, but man, it's scorpions. Fool me twenty times, shame on me.

So in case you wanted to spend your day eating 2 metric tons of dirt instead of a big mac, go ahead and do it. But don't expect to feel good about it. Also film it and put it on the internet. You could be a big star. Again, don't do that. But if you do... we wanna see.

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